Confirmed!

I am confirmed! I presented my PhD research proposal at a department seminar this afternoon, answered some questions, discussed the research with a panel and am now pleased to announce that after a year of provisional registration I have met the requirements and am officially a fully confirmed PhD candidate! This is a major step in the PhD process. It means the university is confident I have the ability to do the work, and I can officially get on and do the research. Unfortunately I won’t be getting into the research work immediately, but will be doing some paid consultancy work for the next couple of weeks, just to help keep food on the table. But on that table tonight will also be a celebratory bottle of bubbly! One year complete, two to go!

Filed under: life, phd, study , phd

Letters> emails> facebook>…?

I have just picked up the book causewired from the library, which although not an academic book, looks very interesting.  Flicking through it I was struck by how rapidly the field of charity/ fundraising/ social causes is changing.  The internet, and in particular web 2.0 applications, is having an immense impact on the way in which we “Get involved” and “Change the World”.  My own experience reflects this.

 

In 1996, when I was 21 and looking to use my nursing training overseas I sat down and wrote a pile of letters to various charities, missions and NGOs.  Although I was aware of the Internet I was not a regular user, did not have an email address and would not have known how to find the email addresses of organisations even if I did – or they had them!  So I typed my letters on a word processor, printed them and posted them.  I recieved a lot of replies, all letters with glossy (and not-so-glossy) brochures, and sifted through them to find which ones interested me.  

If I had wanted to do the same thing 5 years later, in 2001  I would have spent an afternoon online, searching websites and emailing those organisations that caught my eye.  In fact I did.  Searching for organisations to work with for my Master’s research took days of online searches and emailing.

Today, in 2009, it would be different again.  In addition to surfing organisational websites I could join any number of Facebook cause groups, surf the blogs (and comment or email with questions!) of those already volunteering, and sign up to any number of volunteer recruitment sites to find the latest opportunities anywhere on the globe. I don’t have to ask for “further information”, it’s already there.  I could even sign up online.

 

When I wrote a research pre-proposal for my current (PhD) research in 2007, the network I am working with had a static website, yahoo forums and a conference.  Over the past year it has added Facebook groups, and the website has a new semi-interactive features and an increased number of videos. I also know from my first interviews that there are plans afoot to utilise social networking applications further.

 

This all makes me wonder where things will be at when I finish my PhD in 2-3 years.  On the positive side, I at least know my topic is current, and will be of interest and relevance to many.  On the other hand I wonder if it will already be dated.  In the time it takes to research and write, how far will things move on?   It will certainly be interesting to see!

Filed under: Thoughts, Web 2.0, facebook, internet, phd, study

2009!

Happy New Year!

I am doing the new year’s thing, taking a quiet few minutes to look back over my blog from the past year (sparse as it is), reflect on the year that was and think ahead to the year to come.  

From my 2008 New Year post:

So what about 2008?  I’ve not made any resolutions or non-resolutions this time. To be honest between being a mum, working and planning a PhD  I haven’t had the time or head space to think about it.  Any goals I have for them moment revolve around the PhD.  I have set myself the somewhat ambitious task of getting through the first year’s work (full proposal and literature review) before September so that we can go to Honduras to do a Spanish school and attend a conference.

This means I will be working very hard for a while.  But not at the expense of my family.  I guess my real goal for the year is to get this PhD underway while continuing to be the best mum and wife I can be.  Lets hope I can be at least as sucessful this year as I was in 2007- I can’t afford not to be.

So how did 2008 measure up?  Well I certainly didn’t complete the full years work before September (that was overly ambitious!) but I have done a fair chunk of it and was able to get to the conference, do a couple of weeks of spanish classes and even start some early interviews and data collection.  The study is very much on track.

Although I don’t think I blogged about it I was quite worried going into 2008 about how my daughter would handle the changes- moving towns, Mummy doing full time study, starting childcare and travel.  But she was amazing.  We had a few hiccups settling her into childcare (“I want Mummy to stay with me…”) but she’s now going happily 3 days per week (4 days from next week…).  I do find I need to work on the balance and make sure we have plenty of Mummy time, or she gets very clingy, but overall we seem to have found a good balance.

I’m not sure if I have found much balance with my long-suffering husband, and feel like I failed him a little this year.  Once again health problems have limited his ability to complete his studies or find regular work.  He is a wonderful Dad and I honestly don’t know if I would have made much progress on the PhD if he hadn’t been available to pick up most of the childcare and home responsibilities but thinking about that too much only makes me feel more guilty. I really hope this year is the one in which he finally is able to make some progress on his own dreams.

So what are my goals for 2009?

Obviously I want to make significant progress on the PhD- complete the confirmation procedures in February which means finishing the proposal and literature reviews, and then get into the data collection.  This will require about 6 months in Honduras, as well as significant amounts of online research.  By the end of the year I’d like to have the data collection completed, analysis underway and be thinking about some serious writing.

This means another year of hard work and travel.  It also means another year of changes and instability for my daughter and makes things tricky for my husband.  While there is not much I can do about his health except hope and pray, I approach this year more cautiously as I am much more aware now of just how messed up things can get.  I really don’t have any answers and can only keep trying to support him in the best way I can. I suspect this year may become one of investigation and planning as we think about where we want to settle and what we want to do as a family long term.

2008 was also year of spiritual exploration and contemplation as I strayed far futher from the faith I grew up in than I would ever have expected.  I am long past searching for definative answers but will be continuing the journey in 2009.  While much of my life seems set to follow I predictable plan this year this is one area which remains quite blank. Which is very exciting and a bit scary.  

Finally, this post also marks the 2-year anniversary of this blog!  While I haven’t always posted regularly (being a Mum and a PhD student doesn’t leave much spare time for writing blog posts), I like having the outlet to share the things that are on my mind. So, if there are any readers left out there, thanks for reading.  I wish you all the best for the new year, and may this year be one where you too make progress towards reaching your own castles in the sky.

Filed under: Honduras, Thoughts, blogging, phd, study , 2009, New Year, phd

A day in the life PhD student

Today was very enjoyable and I thought I’d post here about it- if for no other reason than to remind myself of what I like about being a PhD student on those days when I wonder why I ever started this journey.

I was up early this morning and enjoyed the sunny, clear morning air (despite the frosty cold) on my walk to the university. I left early as I had some prep to do before my first tutorial of the semester. The class is a first year (undergrad) development studies course called “Rich World Poor World”. It went well. The class was mostly already there when I arrived 10 minutes early and participated well in discussions on “what is development” and “can development be measured”. Of course after years of study I think have even less idea about what development is than I did when I was in thier place, but it’s good to get people starting to think critically about thier assumptions about the world and our place in it.

After that I spent some time answering emails, arranging meetings and trying to organise accomodation for our trip to Honduras in September, which I am starting to get quite excited about.

Then I had a meeting with a PhD reading group we are starting up- lunch, hot chocolate and nearly 2 hours discussing post-development theories and politics. Sounds dry and boring? It wasn’t. Trust me!

Then back to my desk for a couple of hours writing, trying to sort out my ideas on international volunteering and volunteer tourism, being hopeful about the potential while not ignoring the pitfalls.

And then the walk home. Not a stunningly special day, nor even particularly exciting. But it is such a priviledge to have the space to explore new ideas and to share them with others. To often at work and in daily life we get caught up in the routine and in what needs to be done. To be able to think- that to me is a joy.

Filed under: Thoughts, development, phd, study

Halt Graduate Fieldwork!

This humorous post on Ethnography.com is a bit old in internet terms but it made me smile today (somewhat of an achievement as things are particularly stressful at the moment…).

“Frankly, we’re just tired of it.” stated Jason Natuktu, an Inuit Elder of Afognak, Alaska. “Look, haven’t these people heard of the internet? Just go look it up already.” His son, Atol agreed, “How many inept questions do we really have to answer over and over again?” He continued “Yes, we were oppressed, no we don’t envy people living in Florida, yes we really eat blubber. Really, this is the best and brightest?”

I particularly like this line-

“Look, we understand these kids have to do this to satisfy a bunch of grumpy old SOBs that believe you can’t be an anthropologist unless you’ve experienced nine months of dysentery.” Said Quaticatl, “but ya know, we have access to Amazon and eBay here too”.

Filed under: phd, study , ethnography, fieldwork, humor

Happy Monday

As I was getting ready to leave the house this morning I had a startling revelation.  It was Monday morning and I was happy.  I never recall in nursing actually looking forward to the work week and not being sad that the weekend/ days off were over.  I guess despite all the personal and family dramas, and general cynicism over the state of the world, I am in the right place and doing the right thing.  I am enjoying academia, getting my teeth into some really interesting reading and actually making concrete plans to get to Honduras later this year.

My advice to the world for today?  If it’s Monday morning and you are not looking forward to the week, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate.  Don’t wait for the world to get better for you. If you would rather be doing something else, try and work out how you can make the change happen.  It’s so worth it.

But enough blogging, I really should really actually be doing those readings right now!

Filed under: Honduras, Thoughts, blogging, life, study

A few woes

I’m here.  Sitting at the university contemplating my first week as a PhD student.  Earlier in the week I started mentally composing a post about how happy I was and how great it was to actually be here.  But I’m not posting that today.  Be warned, this is going to be a grumpy post.

Of course, I am happy to be here, and I’m sure the current problems are temporary, but I’m finishing the week in a cloud of frustation.  Here’s my gripes…

We have been lucky to have been allocated a family flat 10 mins walk for campus.  It’s a nice enough place, a little like a motel unit but absolutely fine for what we need.  Exceptwe feel somewhat isolated-

• We are supposed to be able to access wireless internet but the signal seems to be pathetic and we have not yet been able to logon.
• We get exactly 2 television channels, poorly
• The phone line (which is toll barred) has abruptly been cut off for no discernable cause.

Luckily we have cellphones and reception for those is good!  However my list is not quite done yet.  There’s my university woes…

• I’ve been allocated an office- temporarily.  There are Masters students using the PhD room so I’m back in the Masters room.  Not that there’s much difference and I’m certainly not an academic snob, but I really don’t want the hassle of setting up and then being moved.
• I can’t seem to get my computer registered on the university network.  It wasn’t a problem 3 years ago but now it seems there is a couple of little problems including new staff who don’t know the procedures and a possibly new $120 charge that I might be made to pay.
• The USB drive a bought was faulty.  No problem to exchange than goodness.  But then I went and left it at home today.  Which wouldn’t be a problem except at the moment (for the above reasons) I am working between 3 different computers and the library.
• I can’t use my bibliographic software because it requires a download that I can’t download because I can’t access the internet from my computer and I can’t even download it from another computer onto the USB drive and then onto my computer for the above reasons…

I have some other woes to do with feeling a bit overwhelmed with the topic and wondering where to start- probably much more important in the long term, but internet and computer difficulties are making that process so much more difficult. 

On the bright side- I”M HERE!  I really needed to vent, and am feeling a bit better for doing so.  It is now nearly 6pm on Friday night, the library is about to close and I am going to go home and enjoy my weekend.  Hopefully I’ll come back refreshed and optomistic and once more excited about the fact that I am able to pursue a PhD.  After all, I really am one of the lucky ones, many many people in this world never get this sort of opportunity.

Filed under: Thoughts, blogging, life, phd, study , computer, internet

Packing, cleaning and moving

The title of this post kind of says it all.  After my deep introspection of my last post I am back to the more prosaic and mundane aspects of change.

I finally recieved confirmation of my provisional registration and enrolment in the PhD program today, the scholarship is sorted, as is accomodation and childcare for my daughter. All that remains is to finish one last week at work and to pack and move! It seems quite unreal that in just over a week I will actually be starting a PhD.

What is real is the work we need to do this week. Storage space is limited and the accomodation we are moving to is furnished so there is a lot of sorting to do before we pack- stuff to keep and take, stuff to keep but store in Wellington, stuff to give away and (a scary amount of) stuff to throw away. This task is complicated bythe fact that my darling husband has injured his knee and currently has very limited mobility (although keeping him sitting down for long enough to enable to knee to heal is proving a real challenge, especially with an active 2.5 yr old around!).

But we will get there. 3 working days, 5 packing days and 1 cleaning day to go!

Filed under: life, study

What I’m not.

Over the past year or so I’ve been giving a lot of thought to who I am, and have been feeling somewhat lost because instead of becoming clearer, I seem to be loosing more and more of who I thought I was.

But I’ve just had a moment of revelation. The loss is part of the journey. I don’t know what will happen, or who I’ll become, but I’m becoming quite clear about what I am not.

I am not religious. This may suprise any readers who actually personally know me, but despite a very conservative religious upbringing and years of church and missions, I no longer feel “Christian”. I still sometimes go to church, but I longer feel I fit there. I’m not sure what my beliefs actually are, or whether they are even Christian, but I know they are not the conservative, evangelical Christianity I have spent most of my life following. Although it is a strange place to not know quite what I believe, it is enormously freeing. For the first time in my life I feel like I can explore the myriad of beliefs, philosphies and ideas that make up this world without guilt or preconcieved judgement and that is incredibly liberating.

I am not a mummy-type. I nearly wrote “I am not a Mummy” but that would be both emotionally and physically untrue. I am a Mummy and I love my daughter absolutely and completely. But I do not fit in the Mummy culture. I was a stay-at-home Mum for over a year and still only work part time. I firmly believe that parents are the best carers for under-3s, however I quickly got bored silly with coffee groups, play groups and the routine of being a stay-at-home Mum. I would drop eveything in a minute if my daughter needed me to be home but I am lucky that she gets good care from her father and grandmother and I am able to work and study. This makes me happier- and I’m think I am a better mother for it (although I have to confess some worry as she will need to go to daycare 3 days per week once we move).

I am not a nurse. Again, another stretching of the truth. I am a nurse, I just had my practising certificate renewed to prove it. What I mean here is that I am not particularly happy as a nurse in the conventional sense. While I really do care about my patients (and have had enough good feedback to presume I do a reasonably good job) it is increasingly difficult to motivate myself on clinic days, and I have found myself wishing patients would not show up for appointments. I naturally prefer to work with my head rather than my hands and accordingly have made a decision to change career tracks and persue an academic career in a different field. I want to help people and believe I can do it best using my natural skills and preferences.  I think the world still needs thinkers!

So that is where I’m at. Less sure than I ever have been about who I am but knowing what I’m not.  Perhaps my resolution for the year should be to make some progress on finding who I am. But it is a journey, it’s been an interesting one so far, and for once I think I will be content to just enjoy the ride- I’m very curious as to where it will take me.

Filed under: Thoughts, life, nursing, parenting, study , Christianity, religion

2008!

I know the New Year is already a week old but I’ve been away on holiday and am just catching up with reality now.  2008 is here.

And I’m about to start a PhD.

I found it interesting to look back at the very first post on this blog (NewYears 2007) and my “non-resolutions”, and to see how far I have come.  And I’ve come a lot further than I ever would have imagined.  At the start of 2007 a PhD was really only a dream, something I might one day do.  My aim for the year was simply to “make the most of all the professional development opportunities that I can, read more and perhaps try to write a couple more articles.”  I did that, and also started making enquiries into the PhD process, which turned into longer discussions and then a research idea, which became a proposal and a scholarship.  And here I am, somewhat bewildered, ready to start.

I’ve made mixed progress on the other non-resolutions.  The PhD topic is Honduras-focused and will involve travel to Honduras, hopefully as soon as September this year and certainly for most of 2009. It might not quite be the way I thought we would do it, but it gets us there!  As for my plan to “be more community minded and more ethically and environmentally conscious in the way I live”, well I try.  Working in a non-profit organisation has certainly made me a lot more conscious of the community around me, but I still come home and hide a lot!

So what about 2008?  I’ve not made any resolutions or non-resolutions this time. To be honest between being a mum, working and planning a PhD  I haven’t had the time or head space to think about it.  Any goals I have for them moment revolve around the PhD.  I have set myself the somewhat ambitious task of getting through the first year’s work (full proposal and literature review) before September so that we can go to Honduras to do a Spanish school and attend a conference.

This means I will be working very hard for a while.  But not at the expense of my family.  I guess my real goal for the year is to get this PhD underway while continuing to be the best mum and wife I can be.  Lets hope I can be at least as sucessful this year as I was in 2007- I can’t afford not to be.

Filed under: Thoughts, blogging, life, study , New Year, phd, resolutions