January 19, 2007

What a roller coaster of a week. It started with 2 sick days (some sort of viral stomachy flu thing), then my sister announced her engagement and things we looking up. Then I got the sad news that I posted about a couple of days ago. I have since heard about another baby who drowned in the bath last week. And to top it off it has been a week of sad stories at work- refugees with stories of torture and separation from families, and suicidal patients (one told me down the phone she wanted to blow her head off with a gun).
As a result I have been feeling rather sad and miserable, when really I should be happy and enjoying what I have. I am so blessed. I have a beautiful healthy daughter, a wonderful, loving husband, a roof over my head and good food (and coffee!) on the table. I had a good childhood, a great education and some exciting plans for the future.
After the sad news I have been trying to appreciate and enjoy my daughter more but often I feel sad watching her knowing that other parents have lost that priviledge. Sometimes I think I am just too sensitive, trying to carry others pain and not being able to appreciate the things I have. I wonder if I should be a nurse, if I am cut out to work with people in so much pain.
But that sensitivity is part of the reason I am in nursing, and it certainly contributed to my decisions to study development studies and to work in the third world. I have been given so much, it seems only right to give back somehow. If others can live with the loss of loved ones, with illness and pain, with persecution and poverty, I can live with a little sadness. I can do my part to try and alleviate what small amount of thier pain that I can. And I can continue to deeply appreciate and thank God for the blessings I have, for despite being rather confused and more than I little angry with him this week, I still believe and hope.

One Response to “Hope”

  1. […] friends #2 After a fairly miserable roller-coaster of a week it was great to meet up with an old friend yesterday. This was someone who had been a very good […]

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